you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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