I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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