I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
whose parrot is this?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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