I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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