Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
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