I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
