This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
