dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
