question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I want her autograph on my taint
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
