She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
