i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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