I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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