he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
