I cockslap morals
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
