This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
