Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
