I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
