I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
They are going to name an STD after you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
