He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
