Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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