Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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