I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize