My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
