nut hugger
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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