I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
