He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
