I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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