eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
