I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
