capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
