for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
