In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My first STD was from a foam party
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
