What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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