I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
