I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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