I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
