if i can run in heels then i can drive
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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