no, he came in my armpit
I wish I only lived at night.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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