Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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