I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
did i walk over a car last night?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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