please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
