What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
