I'm going to jail i love you
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
