so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
