Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
