This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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