shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize