Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize