if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
