i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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