I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
