all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize