just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
