its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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