just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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