Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
