do herpes really smell.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
MIDGETS
????
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
