So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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