so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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