I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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