happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
