I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
