You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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