True but thats because hes a fetus.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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